Reality Bites...

Okay friends. I will not lie to you, this has been a most difficult couple of weeks. Not in the grand scheme of things of course - I still have my health, wits and a roof over my head - but relatively speaking.

My shiny new existence as a budding film star / comedian / writer, director, world-beater extraordinaire took a bit of a knock almost as soon as it began. The day after I moved in I got a call from my mother saying that my grandfather had passed away. This news hit me extremely hard and I immediately made plans to fly back to London to attend his funeral.

So before I knew what was what I found myself back in the old country. His funeral was a beautiful service and a more than fitting tribute to a truly wonderful man. Listening to his life story made me feel absolutely inadequate, lazy and...well, basically a pathetic little kitten in comparison to this great man.

So I spent a wonderful week in the warm, welcoming embrace of my family and friends, only to leave it all and head back to this...reality!

Since I have returned, the grim reality of my situation has hit me like a slap in the face from a large, wet mackerel.

You see...delusional as I am, it was my impression that the act of simply quitting my job and moving up here would be enough. I made the assumption that people would immediately recognise the wonder and delight of my remarkable talents and literally come beating down my door with offers of movies, TV shows and sell-out tours.

Remarkably, this hasn't been the case. Indeed, quite the opposite.

My cause hasn't been helped by me making one or two huge industry "boo-boos" already. They are as follows:

1) Emailing a casting director saying "Hey, I'm great. You should hire me". A HUGE mistake and one that should not be taken lightly. Make note friends...casting directors will blacklist your arse without hesitation if you do this.

2) Submitting for SAG roles - fine if you're a member of the Screen Actors Guild. Not so much if you're not, which I am not.

3) Auditioning for a commercial, then openly lambasting the product you are promoting - Basically I was auditioning for a paid job, well within my reach, and blew it when the room was asked "At this price, would you buy this product?" I practically shouted "No chance", much to the room's astonishment. Needless to say, I am still awaiting their call.

NOTE: Honesty is not always the best option.

On top of this, I am finding that all this talk of recession is not as far-fetched as I once thought. As I'm finding a "normal" job just as hard to come by.

Still, anything worth having is worth fighting for and fight I shall. Despite my inner yearning to run screaming back home to England and the sanctity of a sane life, I will continue in my dreams.

I'm pretty sure I heard a homeless bloke mumbling the same thing while eating a rotten banana out of his own sock.

Peace and Love

John.

R.I.P - John Dicker Sr.

P.S - This is pretty much the best song ever, enjoy...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A2lNf2WHxeI