Lyrics To Live By

"No, I've never had a job
because I never wanted one.
I've seen you smile
but I've never really heard you laugh. 
So who is rich and who is poor, I cannot say"

From "You've Got Everything Now" by The Smiths (1984)

Dialogue of the Day

Girl:  "Here's a picture of my dog, Charlie"
Brett: "Oh, I see, so he's…more of a cat?"
Girl: "No, I just dressed him up for Halloween"
Brett: "Oh, right. Yeah"

From "Flight of the Conchords" (Series 2)

I can't tell you how much this made me laugh the other day. It's still making me laugh now. God knows why...

JB.

Quote of the Day

"When I mention God, and Angels and all that seemingly biblical stuff in songs….my wife is an angel to me. And a real one. Because she appeared out of the smoke of a nightclub when I was at my lowest. And I've never looked back since then. To me, she's an angel. But she's real. She's not a heavenly body. I can touch her. And I do, regularly, and it's great"

Noel Gallagher (The Meaning of Life - 2013)

Dialogue of the Day

"One time, many years ago, I fell for this girl…and, I'm ashamed to say this, but she was the great love of my life. It was a very passionate relationship, I loved her very intensely and we just made love everywhere. She was sexually carnivorous. We did it in elevators, in bushes and people's houses, at parties in the bathroom, in the back of cars, she put a coat on our laps and grab my hand and put it between her legs. She'd sniff cocaine right when she was having an orgasm. She was really something. I was getting an education. I was fascinated. I was absolutely nuts about her. And ultimately…..she ended up in a mental institution"

From "Husbands and Wives" (Woody Allen, 1992)

Quote Of The Day

"The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man"

-- George Bernard Shaw

Quote of the Day

"A child is a curly, dimpled lunatic" 

-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Dialogue Of The Day

Tony: "My son comes to me the other day, says he doesn't understand what life's all about. Says he's got no purpose"
Doctor: "What did you tell him?"
Tony: "I told him that so far it's cost about a hundred and fifty grand to raise him, so if he's got no purpose, I want a fuckin' refund!"

From "The Sopranos" (Season 2)

Absurd Rap Lyrics: #542

"Tipped over a cow, just for a joke and laughed. Jumped up, choked a giraffe, snapped it's neck and broke it in half"

Eminem - "Get You Mad" (1999)

Lyrics To Live By

"And from the shelter of my mind
Through the window of my eyes
I gaze beyond the rain-drenched streets
To England where my heart lies"

"Kathy's Song" - Simon & Garfunkel (1966)

Dialogue of the Day

"In Italy for 30 years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had brotherly love, five hundred years of democracy and peace, and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock"

From "The Third Man" (1949)

Quote of the Day

"Since I broke up with my girlfriend, I'm looking on the bright side of things. It's been good for my career. I'm a driven man now. I'm driven by a fantasy that the girl who I loved more than anything in the world, will one day be living in a trailer park in Oklahoma. She's gonna have nine naked children with rickets who bring home dead animals from the side of the road for dinner. She's married to a 600-pound ex-welder with fur on his back who drinks warm beer, beats the children and watches Dukes of Hazzard every night...and has to have it explained to him.

One night he's gonna be making love to her and his heart's gonna explode and she'll be trapped under six-hundred pounds of flaccid, fish-belly, cellulite shifting like the tides of the ocean as blood and phlegm and bile and chomped tobacco pours out of his mouth and nose and into her face. And just before she drowns in that chunky puddle of afterbirth, she turns to the TV and sees me on The Tonight Show."

-- Bill Hicks

Absurd Rap Lyrics: #2,097

"Dead in the middle of little Italy, little did we know that we riddled two middle men who didn't do diddley..."

Big Pun - "Twinz (Deep Cover '98)" 

Lyrics To Live By

"So if you see me, 
Walking around in the streets of your town, 
Don't feel for me,
I've got more peace of mind than you ever shall find"

"Last Clown" - Turin Brakes

Quote Of The Day

"Look into the eyes of a chicken and you will see real stupidity. It is a kind of bottomless stupidity, a fiendish stupidity. They are the most horrifying, cannibalistic and nightmarish creatures in the world"

-- Werner Herzog

Dialogue Of The Day

"God isn't interested in technology. He cares nothing for the microchip or the silicon revolution. Look how he spends his time - forty-three species of Parrot. Nipples for men. Slugs! HE created slugs! They can't hear. They can't speak. They can't operate machinery. Are we not in the hands of a lunatic?"

From "Time Bandits" (1981)

Dialogue of the Day

Worker: "Mr. Swope, I do exactly the same job as the other executives. But I don't make as much money as they do. I don't think that's right." 
Putney: "If I give you a raise, then everyone's gonna want a raise, and if I give them a raise, they'll still be making more money than you and we'll be right back where we started." 
Worker: "Oh, I never thought of it that way"
Putney: "And that's why you make less money."

From the utterly deranged "Putney Swope" (Dir. Robert Downey Sr. - 1969) 

Dialogue of the Day

"Oh my God, she's so hot. She's so flippin' hot. She's like a curry. I want to tell her how hot she is but she'll think I'm being sexist. She's so hot she's making me sexist......bitch"

--From "Flight of the Conchords" (2007)

Dialogue of the Day

Ken:  You've got five grams of coke?
Ray:  Four grams on me and one gram in me which is why my heart is going like the clappers as if I'm about to have a heart attack, so if I collapse any minute now please remember to tell the doctors it might have something to do with the coke.

From "In Bruges" (Martin McDonagh, 2008)

Dialogue of the Day

Marwood: What about what's-his-name?

Withnail: What about him?

Marwood: Why don't you give him a call?

Withnail: What for?

Marwood: To ask him about his house.

Withnail: You want me to call what's-his-name and ask him about his house?

Marwood: Why not?

Withnail: All right. What's his number?

Marwood: I've no idea. I've never met him

Withnail: Well, neither have I. What the fuck are you talking about?

--From "Withnail & I" (1986)

Quote of The Day

"All governments are lying cocksuckers"

--Bill Hicks