Great Reads: "The Disaster Artist" by Greg Sestero

The Room. A film written by, directed by, produced by and indeed starring a man named Tommy Wiseau. It is widely regarded as the single worst film ever made, which is saying something considering there exists "Batman and Robin". However, such is the depth of the atrocity of this film that it has, somehow, against inconceivable odds, become a cult classic. Unbelievably, large cities all over the world, yes…the world, still continue to screen this film on a regular basis to this day and, seemingly long into the future.

This fact wouldn't be as miraculous as it is if you'd never seen a frame of this film. It can't be that bad? I hear you all think. After all, it is making money and people still flood to see it. You must be wondering.  Again, this attitude can only be held if you have never seen a frame of this film. I have. It is unbelievably crap. However, so spectacular, so unfathomable is the crapness that I found myself compelled beyond my will to not only watch it once, but watch it repeatedly over time, and indeed urge my friends to do that same. Why? I will never, ever know.

So, who is this strange, tasteless, talent-vortex, Tommy Wiseau? Therein lies the key question (one which remains unanswered) in this book. Written by Greg Sestero and Tom Bissell - although methinks I know who did the bulk of the work - this book tells the story of the making of The Room, through the eyes of Sestero himself. In the film, Greg plays the 'character' of Mark - named after Wiseau's favorite actor…Mark Damon. He also served as a line producer and seemingly only friend in the world to Tommy himself.

From the opening page, this book is laugh-out-loud-people-think-I'm-a-lunatic-on-the-train hilarious, and I do not use that term lightly. I have never in my life found myself buckled over, belly laughing, to the written page as much as I was here. From the moment that Sestero lays eyes on Mr. Wiseau in an acting class in San Francisco, absolute hilarity ensues. The two men - one a handsome model/rising starlet in the Hollywood scene, the other a deranged, lank-haired lunatic - forge one of the most bizarre friendships that has surely ever existed and went on to make one of the worst films of all time. Together. Despite being embroiled in a sort of personal cold war seemingly the entire time of knowing each other. Brilliant.

What makes this book so incredibly fascinating is down to several factors. One, the story of the film itself, which cost 6 million dollars to make, was self-financed by Tommy Wiseau (this despite no-one knowing where the money came from…to this day), saw three crews resign and has probably more plot-holes than I've had hot dinners. Yet, somehow, some way, it not only got made, but became a success. It's the stuff of Hollywood legend.

Two, the style of the narrative, which alternates between "present day" on set stuff from the making of the film itself and "flashback" stuff of Greg Sestero and his rise through the ranks of Hollywood, and I say that in the loosest possible terms, is a very interesting way to tell this story, the parallels between these two lives and the lives of many, many, people in this town are scarily frequent.

Finally, three, the use of two movies to illustrate the weird goings on transpiring before us. Those movies being the mighty "Sunset Boulevard" and "The Talented Mr. Ripley", neither of which could be more apt. The former being the dark Billy Wilder classic about a man who befriends an elderly former starlet, now in her twilight years, the latter being the one where Mark Damon does all sorts of bad shit.

It's a hilarious tale of ups, downs, heartbreaks, triumphs and some spectacularly unreasonable tantrums. But, above all, this book is about the sheer power of having a clear vision and being utterly unwavering in the belief you have in yourself. All you need is a weird accent, an unlimited bank balance and, apparently a complete and utter lack of self-awareness. As for an answer to the question 'who is Tommy Wiseau'? I don't think we'll ever know, and the world is a little bit better for it.

Please watch the film and read the book. Now. You will thank me for it.

JB.

Great Reads: 'High Fidelity' by Nick Hornby

I first read this book back in the late 90's. I'd left school and found myself an impressionable working lad with no education in my future and hours to kill sweating on trains commuting to and from my place of work - which was undoubtedly some shithole on the other side of London. I think it would not be overstating the matter to say that, at that time, this book completely changed my life. For reasons I shall explain hereto. 

Hornby's second novel, released in 1995 after the monumental success of gooner-supporting "Fever Pitch", tells the tale of one Rob Fleming; a man who enjoys music, film, and lamenting his status in the world when it comes to money, power and, most of all, women. Rob owns a fledgling record shop in North London where he and his two friends sit around and make lists of stuff that they like. In fact, such is Rob's affinity for lists that the book begins with the opening heading: "Top Five Break-Ups Of All Time", wherein he begins to tell us the reader about the pitiful state of his previous failures with members of the opposite sex. All of this serves to provide the back drop to what is currently going on in his life - another break-up with a girl he loves - and there the story begins.

“What came first – the music or the misery? Did I listen to the music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to the music? Do all those records turn you into a melancholy person?” 

What follows is an absolutely hilarious, honest, unflinching portrayal of the modern man and let me tell you friends, it is a masterful depiction. Hornby writes with a sort of light-hearted scathing cynicism which, despite sounding like a massive contradiction, sets the perfect tone for the book. I defy any man on planet earth (well, at least, a middle-class white bloke from the western world) to read this book and not find yourself going "yep, I've done that". Indeed there are few subjects in life which fascinate me more than male patheticism and this book has it in spades. 

A little exercise for you -- pick a man. Someone you deem to be the coolest man on the planet. James Dean, Paul Newman, George Clooney maybe? All of those people, every last one, will absolutely turn into an insecure, whimpering, paranoid wreck if and when placed in the hands of the right (or wrong) woman. Of course, this is just my belief but it's a belief and that's all that f*cking matters, got it? Good. 

“Over the last couple of years, the photos of me when I was a kid... well, they've started to give me a little pang or something - not unhappiness, exactly, but some kind of quiet, deep regret... I keep wanting to apologize to the little guy: "I'm sorry, I've let you down. I was the person who was supposed to look after you, but I blew it: I made wrong decisions at bad times, and I turned you into me.” 

Now, how did a book about a bunch of music geeks eeking out an existence for themselves change your life? I hear you ask. Well folks, after reading this book, for the first time in my 19 or so years of existence (I think) I had the inspiration to write. I could hear my voice on the page. It was a work of art that spoke directly to me. Me?! I had never experienced that before. The characters were interested in things I am, talked the way I talk, thought how I do about stuff (if you read this blog ever, you'll know how much I f**king love writing a list for a start). Suddenly I felt the need to put pen to paper for the first time to express how I feel. For fun. Suddenly I had a thirst for knowledge and a yearning for experience that my shite office job which took me two hours to get to every day and night could not provide me. I felt a tidal wave of culture engulf my being. I mean, it was only the third book I'd ever read up to that point but we've all got to start somewhere, eh?

The following month, I handed in my notice at work, packed up and went to university and the rest, as they say, is history. Not necessarily history in the sense that anything profound or important happened on a global, national or even local scale. But a personal history was made, right there and then and here I am today as a result...writing, for nothing more than the interest of personal expression. Something that just wasn't an option until my eyes crossed this little gem. 

If you ever want to know anything about me, or indeed men in general, read this book. At once. That is all. 

“It seems to me if you have music (and books, probably, and films, and plays, and anything that makes you feel) at the center of your being, then you can't afford to sort out your love life, start to think of it as the finished product. You've got to pick at it, keep it alive and in turmoil, you've got to pick at it and unravel it until it all comes apart and you're compelled to start all over again. Maybe we live life at too high a pitch, those of us who absorb emotional things all day, and as a consequence we can never feel merely content: we have to be unhappy, or ecstatically, head-over-heels happy, and those states are difficult to achieve within a stable, solid relationship.” 

Nick Hornby -- High Fidelity (1995)

Cheers, 

JB.

Great Reads: Fear & Loathing On The Campaign Trail '72

This book charts the election year of 1972 here in the good old US of A. From the democratic primaries to the presidential campaign everything is documented. Sounds like an absolute yawn-fest I'm sure. However, when told through the eyes of Hunter S. Thompson, this book becomes something altogether more interesting.

For any fans of that other "Fear and Loathing" book, let me start by saying that you should not go into this book expecting to read about continual psychoactive mayhem. There's some of that, of course, as Thompson seems unable to function unless engaging in at least medium-level debauchery, and Christ knows you'd probably need to be off your tits to deal with some of these people, however the one thing that often gets lost in the Hunter S. Thompson legend is what a humanitarian the man was. That and the fact that he was an absolutely brilliant writer.

What makes this book such a fascinating read is that it is U.S. politics from the outsider looking in. The average, rational-thinking man wondering what on earth the circus before him all means. Every page oozes empathy and a, some would argue, deluded hope for the people. As the ill-fated John McGovern pits his wits against king reptile Richard Nixon, it becomes a classic tale of good vs evil which is hard not to get caught up in. Now, at the time of printing this might have been considered propaganda as the book obviously favours McGovern, however in light of what became of Richard Nixon's presidency, most of it is instead eerily prophetic.

It also goes to show what an absolutely monumental, confusing, and thoroughly thankless task it is for a man of any shred of integrity to go against the machine. By the time you've shook all the hands, given all the speeches, dusted off the slander, climbed every mountain only to get pounded by some slabbering, vacuous non-human in front of the world's media, it's enough to wonder why anyone ever bothers at all.

If you've got any interest at all in what goes on behind the scenes during that time those odd, sharp-suited, shiny-toothed bellends are all over your TV screen (i.e. right now) then I cannot recommend this book highly enough.

"If the current polls are reliable, Nixon will be re-elected by a huge majority of Americans who feel he is not only more honest and trustworthy than George McGovern, but also more likely to end the war in Vietnam. The polls also indicate that Nixon will get a comfortable majority of the youth vote. And that he might carry all 50 states. This may be the year when we finally come face to face with ourselves; finally just lay back and say it - that we are really just a nation of 220 million used car salesman with all the money we need to buy guns, and no qualms at all about killing anybody in the world who makes us feel uncomfortable. The tragedy of all this is that George McGovern, for all his mistakes, understands what a fantastic monument to all the best instincts of the human race this country might have been if we could have kept it out of the hands of greedy little hustlers like Richard Nixon. McGovern made some stupid mistakes, but in context they seem almost frivolous compared to the things Richard Nixon does every day of his life, on purpose. Jesus! Where will it end? How low do you have to stoop in this country to become president?"

(Excerpt from "September, 1972")

Peace and love,

JB.

Great Reads: 'The Game' by Neil Strauss

Now, I will fully admit that when I first heard about the existence of this book my reaction was "you could not pay me to read that shite"...or words to that effect. Every single time I've seen one of these dating doctors claiming to be the worlds greatest "sultan of snatch" "prince of pussy" or whatever ridiculous moniker they come up with for themselves, I want to vomit until it was all a distant memory.

However, I then stumbled upon an interview with Neil Strauss - this book's author - and saw that he claimed to be none of these things. He was literally a nice, little, bald, average man who happened to be able to get any girl he wanted. I was intrigued enough to go out and make a purchase.

There is no way I can tell this story without mentioning the actual purchase of this book itself. I went in Barnes and Noble, looked it up in the computer, and followed directions. However, as I cringed through the "Self Help/Dating" section I found no sign of this book. I asked a girl who worked there. She led me to the "Self Help/Sex" section of the shop. More cringing ensued. However, still it wasn't there. Was this a mythical phantom book? Were they simply out of stock? No, the answer was that they were unable to stack it on shelves as too many people stole it or sat in the store reading it. I would have to ask at the counter.

So, I mumbled under my breath something like "Yes, apparently you have a book called 'The Game'? Or something, I dunno. It's for my non-existent brother". Despite my embarrassed grumblings, the bloke knew what I was talking about and brought back the gaudiest monstrosity I have seen. A black, leather-bound, bible, complete with gold-trim pages and a red page sach (see right).

I was mortified.

Now, all this led me to believe that as a single man I had reached a new low. Actually reading this thing, apparently stuffed full of expert advice of how to "pick-up chicks, brah" surely meant I had become everything I despise? However, I delved in and within two pages I was sold. Thus followed one of the more interesting reads I've had in a long time. Rather than some knobhead blathering on about how many women he's slept with and how genius his techniques are, Strauss opened with a cautionary flash-forward to the end of the story, where his mentor (the supposed greatest pickup artist in the world) had lost it after being dumped and Strauss had to do what all good friends do in these instances, get him to a hospital and sort him out.

The story then begins and what follows is a true underdog story about a man who went from never getting any girl he wanted (even after touring with Motley Crue....for a year!) to becoming Style - the world's #1 pickup artist. Beginning with a foray into a mysterious online world, then signing up for a 'seminar' with a mythical girl-pulling legend, to devouring information from every guru the world had to offer until he found himself so entrenched in this odd little existence that his entire life became consumed by it.

You might expect the whole thing to reek of misogyny and despair, and it does in part (largely due to the lingo they use - which is in equal part hilarious and deplorable), however what I liked about the whole thing was that rather than trying to be a "How to..." guide, it in fact told the story of a bunch of sweet, frustrated geeks trying to seek out the validation they so desperately lacked in their formative years. Strauss himself writes with such heart and compassion for all of these characters that it truly becomes less a story about shagging and more a story about friendship, loyalty and, ultimately, that existential void that all of us, on some level, are trying to fill.

It is hilarious (particularly the story involving the porcelain twinZ). It is an interesting peek into the human mind, and most of all it is surprisingly touching. Thus proving my theory that deep down, us men are all the same. And nothing will reveal that quicker than the right (or wrong) girl coming your way.

So if you fancy a delve into the stranger side of the human psyche, give this a whirl....just be prepared never to take it out in public.

"How do you kiss a girl? The distance between you and her is just three inches. It's not a long stretch, by any standard. You barely even have to move your body to bridge the gap. Yet it is the most difficult three inches a man had to move in his life. It is the moment when he must concede all the priveliges that are his birthright; put his pride, ego, esteem and hard work aside; and just hope - hope that the she doesn't deflect it with her cheek or, even worse, the let's-just-be-friends speech." (Page 75)

Peace and love,

JB.

$5 Book Sale

I'm having a book sale. They are all 5 dollars unless otherwise noted. Most of them are in mint condition. I will note if they're not. In reading this through, I can't help wondering where on earth I found some of this sh*t.

Anyway, here is a complete list. Let me know which one(s) you want and I'll put them aside (the ones in Grey have already been claimed):

Fiction:

"The Road" - Cormac McCarthy

"Lullaby" - Chuck Palahniuk

"Trainspotting" - Irvine Welsh

"Marabou Stork Nightmares" - Irvine Welsh (bit scuffed on the cover)

"Naked Lunch" - William S. Burroughs

"Crime & Punishment" - Fydor Dostoyevsky

"Notes From The Underground" - Fydor Dostoyevsky - $3.00

"Catcher In The Rye" - J.D. Salinger

"American Tabloid" - James Ellroy - $3.00 (well worn but a great read)

"1984" - George Orwell

"The Trial" - Franz Kafka

"A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man" - James Joyce - $3.00

"The Darwin Conspiracy" - John Darton

"The Long Goodbye" - Raymond Chandler

"On The Road" - Jack Kerouac

Non-Fiction (Paperback):

"Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas" - Hunter S. Thompson

"Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail '72" - Hunter S. Thompson

"Mr. Nice" - Howard Marks

"Manufacturing Consent" - Noam Chomsky

"A Moveable Feast" - Ernest Hemmingway

"The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test" - Tom Wolfe

"Imagine This: Growing up with John Lennon" - Julia Baird

Non-Fiction (Hard Cover):

"The Libertines: Bound Together" - Anthony Thornton - $7.00

"Banksy: Wall and Piece" - Banksy

"Gonzo" - Hunter S. Thompson

"Wild Ducks Flying Backwards" - Tom Robbins

"Poetry" - Oscar Wilde - $3.00

"Dead Children Playing" - Stanley Donwood (This book is basically Radiohead artwork spanning 20 years. It's great)

Film/TV:

"Screenplay" - Syd Field

"Screenwriter's Marketing and Resource Directory" - Deidre Berry-Fortner

"Making a Good Script Great" - Linda Seger - $8.00 (Unopened)

"Standard Script Formats" - Cole/Haag

"Woody Allen on Woody Allen" - Stig Bjorkman

"Rebel Without A Crew" - Robert Rodriguez

"Making Movies" - Sidney Lumet

"Heath Ledger" - John McShane

"Film Directing Shot by Shot" - Steven D. Katz

Comedy:

"Love All The People" - Bill Hicks

"How to Talk Dirty and Influence People" - Lenny Bruce

"I Drink For A Reason" - David Cross

"The World of Karl Pilkington" - Ricky Gervais

"Booky Wook 2" - Russell Brand

"Frank Skinner" - Frank Skinner

Graphic Novels:

"The Dark Knight Returns" - Frank Miller

"Watchmen" - Alan Moore

Scripts/Plays etc:

"Rosencrantz & Guildernstern are Dead" - Tom Stobbard

"Reservoir Dogs" - Quentin Tarantino

"Good Will Hunting" - Matt Damon (possibly Ben Affleck)

"Uncle Vanya" - Anton Chekov - $2.00

Self-Help Type Stuff:

"Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" - John Gray, Ph.D.

"The Art of Happiness" - The Dalai Lama

"Meditations from Conversations with God" - Neale Donald Walsh

"A New Earth: Awakening Your Life's Purpose" - Eckhart Tolle

"The Virtue of Selfishness" - Ayn Rand

"365 Ways to Be Your Own Life Coach" - David Lawrence Preston

"The Kundalini Yoga Experience" - Guru Dharam S. Khalsa

JB

Quote of the Day:

"The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones that never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes "Awww!"

Jack Kerouac - "On The Road" (1951)