When I still lived in good old Blighty, I used to watch Mark Kermode's, not to be confused with Mark Lamar - despite same first name and ridiculous 50's quiff, review show and think "what an annoying twat".However as I've matured and developed a healthy hatred for all things puerile and idiotic, I have to say that every single review of a film that I see of his, I now think "yep, I couldn't agree more". Once you look past the quiff, the obnoxiousness, the Danny Dyer impressions (although I do agree with him that Danny Dyer is one of the cackest humans alive) what you are faced with is a very intelligent, well-read man and, as film critics go, one of the most accurate yardsticks of what's good and what's shite, there is.
I highly recommend watching some footage of The Kermode and Mayo show as it is pretty sodding hilarious. In the meantime, let's enjoy some highlights of Mark's most hate-filled bile:
"It is consumerist pornography. It is an orgy of dripping wealth that just made me want to be sick" (on 'Sex and the City 2')
"If Michael Bay wasn't one of the most successful film-makers in the world, with hundreds of millions of dollars at his disposal, he would be making porn. Or, more accurately, he would be making adverts for porn." (on 'Transformers')
"What Guy Ritchie has done is, he's gone back to 'The Long Good Friday', which is a brilliant gangster movie, and re-made it as effectively performed by Chas n' Dave" (on 'Rocknrolla')
"It stars the huge acting talent that is Orlando Bloom. The Donny Osmond of his generation, without the teeth or indeed the talent. The pretty boy who we cast because lots of girls find him terribly unthreatening and want to take him home and mother him" (on 'Elizabethtown')
"George Lucas could not direct traffic! He's an accountant. He's a bean counter. He has absolutely no cinematic understanding whatsoever. Moreover, his writing skills are, at best, pre-school" (on 'Star Wars III: Revenge of the Sith')Legend.
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