Commercials, Cameras and Calamities

This week has been a relatively busy one, with my agent sending me out on several "commercial" auditions. These type of audition are a very hit and miss affair. For example, one day I turned up on time for my audition, only to find that rather than go in the order of when people signed in (also known as 'the correct order') this casting director knob-head decided to let everyone else who turned up for a different commercial at a later time go before me and couple of other chaps. I was there for two sodding hours! Now, for anyone whose ever spent more than ten minutes in a casting office, the experience is somewhat hellish - literally wall to wall packed with people demonstrating, for the most part, the least attractive qualities humanity has to offer...loudly. Once we finally got in, I was hurried into spitting out my useless two lines of dialogue and was soon on my way, leaving a giant turd-imprint on my soul.

"Wow me"

However, the next day I went to a similar audition at the exact same casting office and the experience couldn't have been different. No overbooking of actors, no rush, no being treated as if you'd just been scraped off a shoe. Instead the casting director was affable, respectful and actually took the time to get a performance (insert heavenly noises). It's not that hard really, is it? Just a little smidgeon of class is all it takes. I also encountered a classic "Brit in LA" situation on this visit. Sample line: (very loudly on phone so all who were trying to silently learn their lines could hear) "Yeah babe, I just had to turn down a part for David O. Russell. Yeah, the one who did The Fighter, yeah. Well, I'm out of town when they need me..." Shut up and crawl back up your own arse you utter monkey.

Anyhoo, my camera came in and I have been desperately trying to learn how to use it effectively. So far, the results are very promising and the floodgates have opened with regards to writing new material. Onwards and upwards from here methinks. Just the small matter of financing all of this tomfoolery and all will be well and good. More to follow...

Can't think of much else to write so here's a picture of a fat baby:

Until next time, keep on fighting the good fight brothers and sisters. Also, send money.

Ta,

John.

P.S - Been listening to a lot of Penderecki lately...not the best idea.