It begins of course with pre-production. A nightmare from start to finish. Made especially more arduous when taking on the role of writer, director, actor, producer, casting director and, in this case, production designer (not my forte, friends, let me tell you). So after months of assembling a crew, then seeing almost every British actor in Los Angeles, and spending hours upon hours trawling through mega-malls wondering "what would a psychotic girlfriend's bedroom look like?" it was finally time to begin shooting.
Now, as previously mentioned, I had shot a film prior to this. However that effort, valiant as I believe it was, matters not one bit when all of a sudden you're at the helm of a 12-man crew working in an extremely tight borrowed location on a shoestring budget with the clock ticking ominously against you the entire time. Essentially this is the time to shit your pants, dive in and swim. Within hours, we were already hours behind schedule. Things were not going as planned. My stress levels were only heightened when we managed to fall even further behind schedule after lunch. I could almost feel the weight of the world sitting directly on my chest, like a playground bully, teasing, gloating at me "you're ballsing this up, big nose".
So of course after a day of keeping everyone behind for two hours more than they were paid to do, I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Suffice to say that not a moment's rest was had. And I do mean literally....not one second of sleep occurred that night.
The saving grace of our first day of shooting was the absolute joy I felt watching our actors go to work. At the risk of gushing, it's moments like that which make it all worth while. Moments where not only does the drivel that you wrote come alive, but it actually has a beating heart right at the centre of it, for all to see. This may seem like the ramblings of a mad man to an outsider, but being part of it is something I'll cherish forever and, in the grand scheme of things that make me smile, is quite a feeling to behold.
So after fretting around my house all night it was on to Day 2. Something had to give...otherwise we were just simply not going to get all the footage I need and I'd be left with no film and rifle at the ready. So, we went to work, and went to work quick. I referred back to the old Robert Rodriguez style of shooting, which I'm pretty sure gave our lighting crew a semi-heart attack, and we began regaining our schedule back at some pace. I could barely breathe it was all moving so fast. However, at the end of it all, I had my film (save one scene which was just one step too far for that weekend). We wrapped our production at 10pm, by which time I had been awake for some fifty-odd hours. However the fun was not over yet. I now had the task of cleaning the apartment we were graciously lent. An act which took me through to 5am. The highlight of that time being, in a state of extreme exhaustion, locking my car keys in the boot and having to call someone out to break into my vehicle. Oh the hilarity.
All in all, things went well. Of course it didn't go to plan, these things never seem to, but what I learned in those two days is almost unquantifiable (if that's a word?) and the colossal wave of creative satisfaction one feels when reaching the end of the road is simply the greatest thing I've experienced. Now comes the task of shooting any pick-ups we need (mostly minor inserts, or 'show-off' shots) and getting our last scene in the bag. Then of course comes the editing, promoting, dealing with sound issues etc etc etc.
However, when all is said and done, the entire thing was beyond my wildest expectations and, for all the rambling I seem to be doing here, I honestly couldn't begin to find the appropriate words to express my gratitude to everyone involved.
Much love,
John.
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