Peaks and Valleys

Here's an interesting thing...

So far, April has been a month in which I have been very busy with the craft of acting. Rehearsing for my play, rehearsing for the upcoming film I am shooting, auditioning, and rehearsing for the outrageous amount of scenes I have coming up in class, which in itself is enough to keep anyone busy. Thus I have been saturated with the world of acting. I even attended the Beverly Hills Playhouse famed Master Class on Saturday morning. While it was a very interesting experience, I didn't see anything intimidating or indeed anything I hadn't already seen at my 'level', which I suppose means that us barnacles on the underbelly of the ship have just as a good a chance as the so-called 'masters'. What was also interesting was the fact that, despite working solidly for 20-30 years in most cases, these people were just as unsure, insecure and nervous as the rest of us. Heartening, in a sick sort of way.

Acting, proper acting like, has become a massive passion for me. When all the elements are in place - the right part, the right partner, the understanding of the character - and you become something else, that you didn't ever think you could so completely - there really is no feeling on earth that I've ever experienced that comes close. Except maybe seeing Radiohead at Glastonbury 2003...but that's another matter.

The problem that I'm now seeing, and from watching E! True Hollywood Stories it's not an uncommon one, is this: a few times already in my short acting life I have experienced this symbiotic feeling and it is overwhelming...for a brief moment in time you feel utterly amazing (for want of a better word) inside and everything makes sense. Then of course, you go home to your empty apartment and the only thing to comfort you is a box of kleenex (take that how you will). 'Normal' life continues and therein lies the dilemma. Look at the amount of nut-jobs, drug-addicts, sex-addicts, suicide cases there have been in the entertainment world. I mean, Owen Wilson tried to top himself for god's sake! Owen Wilson!!! I'm not saying for a second that I want to follow, or indeed justify, any of these paths. I'm just saying...I understand.



After jumping over the fence and seeing the other side, job-hunting, paying bills, getting your car fixed, paying taxes (etc. etc.) just doesn't quite hold the same esteem anymore. It's almost in direct conflict with that feeling you have now come to know and love. It has become a problem for me already, and I am (as the title of my blog alludes to) at the very bottom of the pile. So, while talent, artistry and passion is one thing...the other thing, handling the peaks and valleys, is probably twice as important. Because as we all know, you could be the biggest talent that ever lived, the next Jesus maybe (or the first Jesus depending on your religious views) but if you sit around your apartment doing nothing and longing for that feeling to be there all the time, you ain't gon' do sheeeet son! In the words of a wise man "Hard work beats talent if talent doesn't work hard"

And I'm not just talking about acting, it is whatever your passion is. Be it welding, selling insurance (gag), playing footie at the weekends, whatever. It's all related to the same thing. The highs and the lows, the ying and the yang, the Drum and the Monkey. Well, that last one is actually a pub in London but you know what I mean.

I'll tell you one thing though, all this soul-searching and what not...it definitely beats my former life.

Peace and Love,

John.

P.S - Lionel Messi is a footballing god.

P.P.S - Love and Death is a really funny film.

P.P.P.S - Smoking in your car, while sounding like a cool movie-starish thing to do, does not work if you're a non smoker...as the hole now burned into the side panel of my car will attest to.

P.P.P.P.S - Tuuuuune.....Jamie T - Sticks and Stones