Hello

Slowly the sloth emerged from it's cave; it's eyes burning from the daylight, it's hair greasy and lank, it's bones protruding from the flesh. The creature, malnourished and broken, inched forward into what appeared to be a brave new world. The blinding light of day gradually began to subside, pouring the world back into the creatures eyes. A new lease of life flowed through his tired veins and he uttered to himself "must....update....blog".

So here we are folks. A new record for me neglecting this pointless debacle has been set and here I am with a spare 20 minutes to fill all of you wonderful people (see: no-one) on what's been going on in my sorry little life.

First, I ventured across land and ocean and found myself back in London for a wee while. Now, I'm not usually one for banging on about the weather but my god it was beautiful. I haven't been back in the summer for years, let alone when every single day was a blazing haven of sunshine and laughter as it was in this case. England really is an entirely different country when the sun is out. A lovely time was had by me and all involved...I think.

Next, we had the official premiere of my sketch show "Starving In Hollywood". To give you the cliff notes, people weren't laughing as hard as I expected for the first 20 minutes. Therefore I threw what can only be described as a "tantrum" and went outside for a bit. However, after the intermission the entire crowd was absolutely rolling and I think it's safe to say that what then transpired was one of the best nights I've ever had. I could not be more proud of the finished product and the responses we've had have been nothing short of fantastic. So far so wonderful as far as that goes. Of course, since then I've been battling the inevitable despair that follows finishing a huge project, and the rigmarole of trying to monetize the bastard....but more on that later.

In other news, I'm addicted to the show "Geordie Shore" - which is literally about a bunch of complete morons from Newcastle fighting, shagging, and generally dumbing down the next generation almost single-handedly. Example quote: "Today we're ganning skydiving. The only thing better would be if I had a bird strapped to us, instead of a bloke, and she was sucking me off". I need help, I know.

Films I've seen and enjoyed include:

"Cloud Atlas" - which I thought was absolutely brilliant. I can't even begin to explain what it was about but having now seen it twice, I think it's pretty much a masterpiece. I think.

"Side Effects" - Steven Soderbergh is the nuts of a director and his cool, steady hand is all over this thriller about depression medication.

"Rosemary's Baby" - A classic from the 60's featuring a star-making performance from Mia Farrow and some truly creepy stuff happening. The 'hail satan' scenes alone make this film worth watching.

"Fruitvale Station" - Winner of Sundance, indie sensation and absolute heartbreaker. The true story of the last day of Oscar Grant III is a gut-wrenching, beautifully made film. Oscar season watch out.

"Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa" - Although nothing of cinematic note takes place and the new Alan Partridge bares little to no resemblance to the old Alan Partridge, it still made me laugh.

TV Shit beyond Geordie Shore I'm watching:

"The Wire" - I'm now up to season 2 and it's great. Hard to follow, but great nonetheless.

"Danny Dyer's Deadliest Men" - Again, much like Geordie Shore, I am acutely aware that this is absolute trash TV. However, I think Danny Dyer might be the funniest human alive, without having a clue about it. Unless he does, in which case the man is a genius.

"Breaking Bad" - The last 8 episodes have begun and tickle me sideways it's already getting completely mental. I forgot just how masterful this show is. As soon as the first episode of the last season ended, I remembered.

Other than that it's all the same old guff. I'm sure I've done more interesting things and will feel the need to write about those interesting things in vivid and unnecessary detail in the near future but for now, the kettle has boiled and I'm off to have a nice cup of tea.

Peace and Love,

JB.