Proper Ganda

So, away I have been once again from this here blog space. Largely because I'm getting a little sick of all the "anonymous" comments from Nigerians offering me free money and/or a penis enlargement. I'll tell you what I told them...it's fine the way it is, thanks. My money situation, I mean.

Anyway, so in my time away I managed to finally sit down and watch Kathryn Bigelow's "Zero Dark Thirty". Now, since it's release I have purposely avoided this film like the plague. This would be because, as anyone who cares to know me knows, I am staunchly against the politics involved in the whole sordid affair (if you care to know more, drop me an anonymous line offering penis goodies). 

So, against my better instincts and partially out of pure boredom, I decided to sit down and give it a whirl. For anyone who doesn't know, the plot is based entirely on the hunt and, ultimately, destruction of one Osama Bin Laden: bad guy numero uno of the last 10 years. 

For the entire first ten minutes I sat with my finger hovering over the stop button as some absolute moron mercilessly tortured a man for information while spouting absurdities like "everyone breaks, bro". I was appalled and so far, the film was exactly what I had first feared - nothing more than a piece of self-gratifying propaganda for the United States and their foreign policies. "Rah, rah, rah, aren't we all a jolly bunch of trained killers"-type stuff. 

Once the first ten minutes subsided, I found myself unwittingly swept along in the frankly quite pulsating storyline, told with absolutely expert direction by Bigelow (who, let's face it, knows how to make a film). By the end I was positively gnawing at my fingernails, such was the amount of tension that had built up in that time, this despite me knowing the end. Obviously. 

The performances were first class, the score brilliant and the cinematography pretty flawless, particularly in the final "storm the compound" sequence. As the credits rolled, I found myself taking it all back and declaring it one of the better films I'd seen in recent memory. Forget all the politics, murky moral waters and potential debate involved, that was just a bloody good yarn. It was sensitive to the material involved and overall a very well made film which wasn't exploitative at all. And, with that, off I went to live my vacant little life once again. 

However...when the clock struck late and I rested my head on the pillow a thought suddenly hit me like a ton of bricks and that thought went something like "OF COURSE IT IS!!!" 

You see, when engaging in any form of propaganda the key ingredient is for it not to look like you're engaging in propaganda. That's the whole point. In this day and age, and wise as people here in the US are, of course they're not going to back some ridiculous Bin Laden-baying gorefest directed by Paul Verhoven. No, that would be far too obvious. Of course, as Goebbels did in fascist Germany, you hire the best filmmakers to make the best film possible to further the agenda of those who want it furthered. Now, I'm not for a second comparing the US Government to Nazi Germany, I'm just saying, what better way than to document the murder of the boogeyman than to hire an Oscar-nominated director to adapt a best-selling novel into something that will most likely serve as 99.9% of people's account of what really happened the night OBL got smoked. 

Daniel Day Lewis said of his role in "Lincoln" that it gave him sleepless nights because he knew that for an entire generation of people, his portrayal of honest Abe would be the only one that people would ever know. It's true. When you ask people how Bin Laden went down, you'll think of a bunch of muscular, cool, wise-cracking Americans wiping him out with ease and panache. What you will not remember, nor ever care to actually find out is the truth. And why would you? You know what happened, you now know a spectacularly slick version of how A got to B, so why would anyone ever need to know, or care to know, anything more? Job done, and in a manner that George Orwell would be mighty proud of. 

As a method of propaganda, the film could not be more effective. It gleefully ignores the fact that women and other people (who are unknown) get casually shot in the face on the way to the end of the film. It joyously glides over the fact that some numpty gets choked, drowned and put in a small box, because they got what they needed. Delightedly it dances by the sheer facts of how many innocent, repeat innocent, women, children - and men for that matter - died in the search for this twat. Instead we find ourselves going..."Oooo, I hope Jessica Chastain doesn't get humiliated in her next meeting. She needs results, and quick". The absolute perfect distraction. Fuck, even I didn't care about the innocent souls lost in this fight by the end of the film...and I care...a lot! A masterful job by all involved.

Yes, the film was sensitive to the potential molotov cocktail of emotions that could be stirred by it. No, it wasn't half as "Rah, Rah" as it could have been but I think the makers (and backers) of this film were smart enough to know that it doesn't need to be any of those things. We already got him, we already celebrated. Let's just show everyone how we think they should think we did it. It's very existence is enough to permeate the minds of the masses in this country and will absolutely leave everyone who's seen it with at least a subliminal feeling of "America...fuck yeah". 

Maybe I'm a lefty, commie, nut. Maybe I'm the only sane man in the room. I don't know. The one thing I do know is that Baked Potatoes are delicious and mine just finished cooking. So we'll leave it there.

Cheers,

JB.