Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Tunes Currently Basting My Turkey

                                                     

1) Happy - Pharrell Williams
2) Warm Night - The Concretes
3) Won't Get Away - Phil Beaudreau
4) The Hypnotic - The Roots
5) Far From Any Road - The Handsome Family
6) Keep It Rollin' - A Tribe Called Quest
7) Riptide - Vance Joy
8) Wake Up Alone - Amy Winehouse
9) Let it Loose - The Rolling Stones
10) The Present Tense - Thom Yorke


JB

Monday, March 10, 2014

Great Reads: "The Disaster Artist" by Greg Sestero

The Room. A film written by, directed by, produced by and indeed starring a man named Tommy Wiseau. It is widely regarded as the single worst film ever made, which is saying something considering there exists "Batman and Robin". However, such is the depth of the atrocity of this film that it has, somehow, against inconceivable odds, become a cult classic. Unbelievably, large cities all over the world, yes…the world, still continue to screen this film on a regular basis to this day and, seemingly long into the future.

This fact wouldn't be as miraculous as it is if you'd never seen a frame of this film. It can't be that bad? I hear you all think. After all, it is making money and people still flood to see it. You must be wondering.  Again, this attitude can only be held if you have never seen a frame of this film. I have. It is unbelievably crap. However, so spectacular, so unfathomable is the crapness that I found myself compelled beyond my will to not only watch it once, but watch it repeatedly over time, and indeed urge my friends to do that same. Why? I will never, ever know.

So, who is this strange, tasteless, talent-vortex, Tommy Wiseau? Therein lies the key question (one which remains unanswered) in this book. Written by Greg Sestero and Tom Bissell - although methinks I know who did the bulk of the work - this book tells the story of the making of The Room, through the eyes of Sestero himself. In the film, Greg plays the 'character' of Mark - named after Wiseau's favorite actor…Mark Damon. He also served as a line producer and seemingly only friend in the world to Tommy himself.

From the opening page, this book is laugh-out-loud-people-think-I'm-a-lunatic-on-the-train hilarious, and I do not use that term lightly. I have never in my life found myself buckled over, belly laughing, to the written page as much as I was here. From the moment that Sestero lays eyes on Mr. Wiseau in an acting class in San Francisco, absolute hilarity ensues. The two men - one a handsome model/rising starlet in the Hollywood scene, the other a deranged, lank-haired lunatic - forge one of the most bizarre friendships that has surely ever existed and went on to make one of the worst films of all time. Together. Despite being embroiled in a sort of personal cold war seemingly the entire time of knowing each other. Brilliant.

What makes this book so incredibly fascinating is down to several factors. One, the story of the film itself, which cost 6 million dollars to make, was self-financed by Tommy Wiseau (this despite no-one knowing where the money came from…to this day), saw three crews resign and has probably more plot-holes than I've had hot dinners. Yet, somehow, some way, it not only got made, but became a success. It's the stuff of Hollywood legend.

Two, the style of the narrative, which alternates between "present day" on set stuff from the making of the film itself and "flashback" stuff of Greg Sestero and his rise through the ranks of Hollywood, and I say that in the loosest possible terms, is a very interesting way to tell this story, the parallels between these two lives and the lives of many, many, people in this town are scarily frequent.

Finally, three, the use of two movies to illustrate the weird goings on transpiring before us. Those movies being the mighty "Sunset Boulevard" and "The Talented Mr. Ripley", neither of which could be more apt. The former being the dark Billy Wilder classic about a man who befriends an elderly former starlet, now in her twilight years, the latter being the one where Mark Damon does all sorts of bad shit.

It's a hilarious tale of ups, downs, heartbreaks, triumphs and some spectacularly unreasonable tantrums. But, above all, this book is about the sheer power of having a clear vision and being utterly unwavering in the belief you have in yourself. All you need is a weird accent, an unlimited bank balance and, apparently a complete and utter lack of self-awareness. As for an answer to the question 'who is Tommy Wiseau'? I don't think we'll ever know, and the world is a little bit better for it.

Please watch the film and read the book. Now. You will thank me for it.

JB.

Friday, February 28, 2014

Well Played, Seth Rogen...

Having had the pleasure of hearing this man give a speech, and the utter displeasure of having someone very close to me affected by this disease, I urge you all to watch this video, enjoy the hilarity, and maybe think about the message.


Cheers,

JB.

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Dystopian Future Shit

This collection is utterly brilliant. Enjoy...



JB.

Sunday, February 23, 2014

Vance Joy

So, I went to a music showcase last night wherein up and coming bands played 4 songs each. One of them was this fella. My tiny mind was blown.


JB.

Friday, February 21, 2014

Shakermaker

Can we all just agree that this song is the utter nuts.


That be all.

JB.

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Quote of the Day


"When I mention God, and Angels and all that seemingly biblical stuff in songs….my wife is an angel to me. And a real one. Because she appeared out of the smoke of a nightclub when I was at my lowest. And I've never looked back since then. To me, she's an angel. But she's real. She's not a heavenly body. I can touch her. And I do, regularly, and it's great"

Noel Gallagher (The Meaning of Life - 2013)

Sunday, February 16, 2014

Lyrics To Live By

"It'll take more than whiskey, 
to make this nightmare go away"

From "Blue Valentines" by Tom Waits

Saturday, February 15, 2014

Cyber Land

So….let's talk the internet. Now, if the hilarious musical "Avenue Q" is to be believed, then the internet is solely for one thing: porn. I myself have spent many years researching this matter and while I can safely say that I haven't used it solely for porn…you get my point.

However, these days there is another use for the internet, besides making my mother ashamed of me, and that use is a new and strange phenomenon called "online distribution". It is a brave new world and one that I (we) have been exploring vigorously of late. To give you, the reader, some context; what happened is that my cohorts and I made the informed decision to release Starving In Hollywood online on the most miserable of days (speaking only for myself, of course), Valentine's Day. Thus somewhat conceding to the fact that TV execs aren't exactly beating down our door to put our show on telly and make us rich beyond our wildest dreams. Indeed, so low had the bar been lowered that I would've settled for a few likes on Facebook and maybe a 'well done, lad' from my Nan.

I digress.

Then, wouldn't you know it, right at the death our trailer came across some eyes, impartial eyes, eyes that weren't from my friends or family or people on my twitter account. These eyes liked what they saw and wanted more. So we sent over the first episode and the owner of these eyes liked that even more. Long story short, this blessed soul took mercy on us and vowed to put us in touch with "online distribution companies" who would, apparently, be interested in this sort of thing. Obviously it's all to be taken with a pinch of salt at this point but I can't tell you how gratifying it feels to have someone you've never met tell you that you're doing good work.

Anyway, the part about online distribution I don't quite yet understand is this: how does one make money off of it, exactly? TV it seems relatively straight-forward enough - you sign a contract, you get paid. Regardless of viewing figures. If people aren't watching, you get sacked. But you still got paid and at least you're not a complete failure. However, with this inter web malarky the path seems less clear. For example, if you put a video of yourself hilariously dancing naked in front of a white wall so we can only see your shadow (a mate of mine actually did this) and that video "goes viral" - as they say - then you only begin to make money if you get a certain number of hundreds of thousands of views and even then the proceeds are minimal. However, I suppose, that's where these companies come in and help. Unbeknownst to me, there is an actual science to getting things seen online - actual algorithms and such - a modern day, covert-style art to this stuff. Begs the question, is it morally wrong to manipulate the system, also begs the question - do I actually care?

The fact of the matter is that times are a-changin'. The way we consume content has gone from TV, Cinema, Home Movie to phone, laptop, tablet etc etc etc. As Netflix have gloriously proven, it means the rules are changing - hopefully for the better - and upstart little oiks like myself may finally have the voice we've so longed for. Without, necessarily, the typical corporate structure. Maybe I'm getting all romantic about the idea based on a flicker of a prayer, or maybe we just might be on to something. Who knows, my friends. Who knows?

I've sort of lost my point, I think - that's what chronic insomnia and alcohol will do to you - which was that good news may be on the way. If we do sign with one of these companies, there is potential to make money off what we did and, more excitingly, development money to do more. This news is better than a kick in the gonads, let me tell you. I've tried both. So, our release date is postponed indefinitely while we await further meetings, and potential contract negotiations. All of this, of course, could still amount to nothing. As I say though, at this stage in the game, any help will do.

Also, I'm almost finished with my new short film. Here's a teaser for it. If one more person tells me it's like the Coen Brothers I'm going to go mad. Only joking, of course, that's about the highest praise I've ever had. From anyone. Ever. Enjoy.


Peace and love.

JB

Monday, February 3, 2014

Fiery Hawk

This is almost exactly like just about every commercial audition I've ever been in for:


JB.