10/31

Today the world lost a good man. I dedicate this to him:

JB

Things I Hate: #987 - Loud People In Cinemas

So, after a trip to the cinema last night for a viewing of the hilarious "Jackass: 3-D" (highlights included the "Rocky" scenes and an epic midget fight), I was, within minutes of sitting down, reminded of one of my biggest pet peeves on the planet.

Now, being a 3-D event, there comes a point when a notice flashes on screen informing you to put your glasses on. Of course, almost as soon as it went up, some tw*t yelled "Ok everyone, put your glasses on!" Brilliant. You are a mind I am eternally grateful to have crossed paths with...you knob!

Luckily it was Jackass so I wasn't really bothered, but I have experienced this problem more times than I care to remember...especially here in America and, I tells ya, nothing makes me want to commit a mass genocide more!

Thus, in conclusion, to anyone that just can't help themselves blathering on like an attention starved idiot during a film, please just bear in mind that if I want your opinion, I'll ask for it. Until then, please do us all a favour, for the sake of humanity and all that is good, just shut up and watch the bloody film.

JB

P.S. - While cueing at the Arclight, stood right behind Marilyn Manson and, for the first time, found myself star-struck. In hindsight, I was probably just terrified.

Back in Town

Greetings one and all. I know you have all been waiting with baited breath for another entry on this blog...well, wait no more my friends. It is here!

So, the past month in England has been most wonderful. I got to see my first (and potentially last, going on current form) Champions League game at the mighty White Hart Lane. I spent almost the entire match pinching myself, especially when we went 4-1 up! I honestly never thought I'd see the day. The rest of my time was a healthy mix of getting hopelessly pissed, seeing new additions (i.e. - people's babies) and working my tabs off trying to get my as yet unpublished novel out to every literary agent in London. I'm currently at 8 rejections from 50 submissions, so fingers crossed.

In my time back home amongst it all, innumerable things happened which I'd be hard pressed to fit into these pages. So, in summation of my time in England, here's a shortlist of what I've learned:

Television:

* The Only Way Is Essex - is an absolute disgrace to the good people of my county. It makes Jersey Shore look like University Challenge. The sooner they stop making us all out to be orange-skinned, materialistic, bell-ends, the better.

* An Idiot Abroad - is the best thing I've seen for a while. The clear highlight being Karl's trip to Mexico...utter brilliance.

* The Inbetweeners final series - not as funny as before...but still really funny. Especially the "dirty talk" episode...

Film:

* Animal Kingdom - Is definitely in the running for film of the year in my humble opinion. An awesome way to kill two hours on the plane, that's for sure.

* The Social Network - was much, much better than I expected and, if there's any justice in the world, Jessie Eisenberg should be nominated for an Oscar. Hats off sir...brilliant performance!

Music:

* The XX - after succumbing to all the post Mercury-Award hype, turns out their album is actually really good. Highly recommended for cold, wet nights.

* As a self confessed lover of freestyle rapping, it's nice to see an Englishman do it well. Step forward Professor Green.

* If there's a better song to listen to while walking through London on a freezing cold night night than this, I've yet to find it:

Life in General:

* Wild Turkey - drank in moderation is disgusting. Drank en masse is absolutely heart-stopping. Avoid at all costs.

* The East End - once feared by everyone in...well...England, is actually starting to look like a rather marvelous place to live. Thanks obviously to the gentrification it's experiencing due to the upcoming Olympic Games. I almost felt safe walking through there at night....almost.

* Turning 30 - much as I tried to be at peace with the whole thing, I think it's crept up on me by surprise and I find myself with a steely wisdom I never had before. I now look at drunken people on nights out and think..."Oh, grow up". Now that is worrying!

All in all, a much needed break. Now it's back to the grind in the weird and wonderful world of Los Angeles. There's lots to do, namely finishing up my film, getting my reel out to every agent in the county, getting some money coming in, and staving off insanity. I'll keep you posted. In the eternal words of Yazz...the only way is up.

Peace,

John.