Lyrics To Live By

"It's funny how Zulu and Xhosa might go to war
Two tribal armies that want to build and destroy
Reminds me of Compton Crip gangs that live next door
Beefin' with Pirus only death settle the score
So no matter how much I like to preach with the Panthers
Or tell Georgia State "Marcus Garvey got all the answers"
Or try to celebrate February like it's my B-Day
Or eat watermelon, chicken, and Kool-Aid on weekdays
Or jump high enough to get Michael Jordan endorsements
Or watch BET cause urban support is important
So why did I weep when Trayvon Martin was in the street?
When gang-banging make me kill a n*gga blacker than me"

Kendrick Lamar - "The Blacker The Berry" (2015)

Possibly Pacino's Finest Speech. Ever.

If you enjoy the word "c*nt", or just swearing in general, consider yourself welcome.



JB.

11 Months Later

Alright people, after exactly 11 months I have decided to be back. Blogging. Speaking my mind to no acclaim, avail, or financial reward. What has happened? Where have you been you old rascal? I hear you hark. Let me tell you friends, it has been a wild year. Oh wait, no it hasn't. 

So, moving on, here's my top 10 films of the last calendar year. Feel free to fuck off if you disagree. 

10)  Locke (dir. Steven Knight) - A film that takes place entirely inside a car, features only one character on screen and a phone on loud speaker. The plot, on paper at least, seems almost custom-designed to bore; a Welsh bloke has to drive to London while overseeing a very important concrete pour back home. However, a completely engrossing performance from Tom Hardy and some fantastic twists and turns make this an excellent hour and a half on the M4. 

9)  Muppets Most Wanted (dir. James Bobin) - This inclusion is entirely for personal reasons as A) I love the Muppets irrationally, B) Ricky Gervais is in it and C) Constantine is the new funniest Muppet of all time. I watched this on a plane and people thought I was mental from laughing so much. 

8)  Chef (dir. John Favreau) - It's really quite a testament to the state of the movie industry today when I watch a film like this and go all "gee, they don't make 'em like this anymore". In the 90's, you couldn't move for earnest, humanist, comedies of this ilk. Now they are like the bloody northern lights. I digress. This film is funny, touching, simple, and thoroughly enjoyable. Enough said. 

7) Boyhood (dir. Richard Linklater) - Is this film a towering, groundbreaking cinematic landmark? Yes. Can I honestly say I didn't get a little bit bored? No. However, such is the strength of previously mentioned achievement that it has to be included on absolutely every end of year list. You just can't leave it out. 

6) Interstellar (dir. Christopher Nolan) - Although somewhat maligned by critics, at least by old Chrissy "money machine" Nolan's standards, I seriously think this film will be considered a classic in years to come. Owing much to Kubrick's "2001: A Space Odyssey", Nolan takes us to an entirely new dimension and back in what is the single most high-concept plot I have ever seen (and I've sat through some weird stuff, let me tell you). It is almost impossible to fathom in one sitting. The physics alone were enough to send my brain packing off to tenerife for the summer. However, I found this film an extremely ambitious, moving, mind-bending, awe-inspiring piece of brilliance. I can't wait to see it again. 

5) The Rover (dir. David Michod) - The second film by the director of my fave film of 2010 "Animal Kingdom", this is a brutal post-apocalpytic, Mad Max-esque look at the not too distant future. Guy Pearce plays a man hell-bent on retrieving his car from thieves (for reasons unknown until the very end) and the only way to do so is to rely on the mentally challenged man he picks up along the way - brilliantly portrayed by Robert Pattinson, who is proving to be quite an actor. Very violent, very harsh, and strangely moving, Michod is becoming a director to watch for in the future. 

4) Edge Of Tomorrow (dir. Doug Liman) - Basically groundhog day in the future. Tom Cruise being typically great. Doug Liman directing like the master that he is, and Emily Blunt - who would get it. Large. What more could you want? A proper popcorn film of old. Not Michael Bay shite. 

3) A Most Violent Year (dir. JC Chandor) - Set in 1981, New York City's most violent year on record (get it?), you'd be easily mislead into thinking this was a gangster flick if you watched the trailer. It's not. It's far more complex than that. Oscar Issac gives a star-making performance as the lead - a man trying to make an honest living under very dishonest circumstances - the cinematography is amazing and there is a classic New York chase scene, up there with The French Connection or Carlito's Way. Cracking film. 

2) Whiplash (dir. Damien Chazelle) - I'm not even gonna talk about this film. Just go and watch it. Right now. Don't read any more. Go. 

1) Foxcatcher (dir. Bennet Miller) - Could easily have lost to Whiplash, however it's my list and I thought this was the best film I'd seen all year. Dark, cold, atmospheric, unbearably tense, at times unwatchable, I couldn't stop thinking about this film for many weeks after watching. Steve Carell is nothing short of terrifying. A masterful study of human behavior at it's most odd. "Did you catch the fox, mother?" still sends a shiver down my spine. And not in a good way. Brilliant.   

JB.

Six Word Film Reviews: The Raid 2

Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!

JB.

Lyrics To Live By

"No, I've never had a job
because I never wanted one.
I've seen you smile
but I've never really heard you laugh. 
So who is rich and who is poor, I cannot say"

From "You've Got Everything Now" by The Smiths (1984)

Dialogue of the Day

Girl:  "Here's a picture of my dog, Charlie"
Brett: "Oh, I see, so he's…more of a cat?"
Girl: "No, I just dressed him up for Halloween"
Brett: "Oh, right. Yeah"

From "Flight of the Conchords" (Series 2)

I can't tell you how much this made me laugh the other day. It's still making me laugh now. God knows why...

JB.

Phillip Seymour Hoffman

This is incredible. Have a watch and admire one of the greatest.

JB.

Tunes Currently Basting My Turkey

                                                     

1) Happy - Pharrell Williams

2) Warm Night - The Concretes

3) Won't Get Away - Phil Beaudreau

4) The Hypnotic - The Roots

5) Far From Any Road - The Handsome Family

6) Keep It Rollin' - A Tribe Called Quest

7) Riptide - Vance Joy

8) Wake Up Alone - Amy Winehouse

9) Let it Loose - The Rolling Stones

10) The Present Tense - Thom Yorke


JB

Great Reads: "The Disaster Artist" by Greg Sestero

The Room. A film written by, directed by, produced by and indeed starring a man named Tommy Wiseau. It is widely regarded as the single worst film ever made, which is saying something considering there exists "Batman and Robin". However, such is the depth of the atrocity of this film that it has, somehow, against inconceivable odds, become a cult classic. Unbelievably, large cities all over the world, yes…the world, still continue to screen this film on a regular basis to this day and, seemingly long into the future.

This fact wouldn't be as miraculous as it is if you'd never seen a frame of this film. It can't be that bad? I hear you all think. After all, it is making money and people still flood to see it. You must be wondering.  Again, this attitude can only be held if you have never seen a frame of this film. I have. It is unbelievably crap. However, so spectacular, so unfathomable is the crapness that I found myself compelled beyond my will to not only watch it once, but watch it repeatedly over time, and indeed urge my friends to do that same. Why? I will never, ever know.

So, who is this strange, tasteless, talent-vortex, Tommy Wiseau? Therein lies the key question (one which remains unanswered) in this book. Written by Greg Sestero and Tom Bissell - although methinks I know who did the bulk of the work - this book tells the story of the making of The Room, through the eyes of Sestero himself. In the film, Greg plays the 'character' of Mark - named after Wiseau's favorite actor…Mark Damon. He also served as a line producer and seemingly only friend in the world to Tommy himself.

From the opening page, this book is laugh-out-loud-people-think-I'm-a-lunatic-on-the-train hilarious, and I do not use that term lightly. I have never in my life found myself buckled over, belly laughing, to the written page as much as I was here. From the moment that Sestero lays eyes on Mr. Wiseau in an acting class in San Francisco, absolute hilarity ensues. The two men - one a handsome model/rising starlet in the Hollywood scene, the other a deranged, lank-haired lunatic - forge one of the most bizarre friendships that has surely ever existed and went on to make one of the worst films of all time. Together. Despite being embroiled in a sort of personal cold war seemingly the entire time of knowing each other. Brilliant.

What makes this book so incredibly fascinating is down to several factors. One, the story of the film itself, which cost 6 million dollars to make, was self-financed by Tommy Wiseau (this despite no-one knowing where the money came from…to this day), saw three crews resign and has probably more plot-holes than I've had hot dinners. Yet, somehow, some way, it not only got made, but became a success. It's the stuff of Hollywood legend.

Two, the style of the narrative, which alternates between "present day" on set stuff from the making of the film itself and "flashback" stuff of Greg Sestero and his rise through the ranks of Hollywood, and I say that in the loosest possible terms, is a very interesting way to tell this story, the parallels between these two lives and the lives of many, many, people in this town are scarily frequent.

Finally, three, the use of two movies to illustrate the weird goings on transpiring before us. Those movies being the mighty "Sunset Boulevard" and "The Talented Mr. Ripley", neither of which could be more apt. The former being the dark Billy Wilder classic about a man who befriends an elderly former starlet, now in her twilight years, the latter being the one where Mark Damon does all sorts of bad shit.

It's a hilarious tale of ups, downs, heartbreaks, triumphs and some spectacularly unreasonable tantrums. But, above all, this book is about the sheer power of having a clear vision and being utterly unwavering in the belief you have in yourself. All you need is a weird accent, an unlimited bank balance and, apparently a complete and utter lack of self-awareness. As for an answer to the question 'who is Tommy Wiseau'? I don't think we'll ever know, and the world is a little bit better for it.

Please watch the film and read the book. Now. You will thank me for it.

JB.

Well Played, Seth Rogen...

Having had the pleasure of hearing this man give a speech, and the utter displeasure of having someone very close to me affected by this disease, I urge you all to watch this video, enjoy the hilarity, and maybe think about the message.

Cheers,

JB.