Interesting Reads:

I have recently taken a keen interest in Charlie Brooker's column in The Guardian. Here's a couple of gems from that column. Enjoy:

Charlie Brooker's Screen Burn - Jersey Shore

Charlie Brooker - Alcohol Isn't The Most Dangerous Drug

Disappointed Dunski

Good day all.

Let me start this week by offering my deepest congratulations to some important people in my life. First, my mate Alex had a baby boy on Saturday. They named him Dylan, which I think we can all agree is outstanding name choice...my only hope is that he isn't raised to support West Ham. Second, my dear friends Adam Penney and the lovely Vicki Cole announced their upcoming wedding....finally! Congrats to you all. *Note: It's at times like these when I feel like all of my friends are all living lives fitting for 30 year olds, while I still find myself running around like a headless 15 year-old, panting with a puppy-like naivety.

It is been a slow week for myself - there's a sentence guaranteed to lose your audience immediately - as I have been struggling with one of the more lethal diseases known to humankind....man-flu. However steady progress has been made in the acting world. My rehearsals for Dirty Pooh have been going very well and I'm pretty certain it's going to be a very funny piece. Got my headshots printed now and I'm sending them out to agents, managers and such. Which again, and sorry for yet more canine-based imagery, makes me feel like I'm spinning on the spot, wagging my little tail and clambering up the proverbial legs of Hollywood just to get noticed. All part of the game though I suppose.

Due to me being stricken all weekend I did alot of movie watching. The best of the bunch was "Taxi Driver". I had seen this film a few times before and never really considered it a favourite, now however it has entered that realm. I think anyone living alone in a somewhat undesirable area can relate to Travis Bickle's plight. So, as soon as I'm done writing this, I'll be heading out to shoot several pimps. No seriously...bloody good film. Also I watched "Amelie" which was equally good but for entirely different reasons. And I finally saw "Mean Streets" which I has planned to see for years, literally. Overall, I found it disappointing but Robert DeNiro's performance is something to behold. Check this clip for hard evidence:



In writing this, it has become clear that I have too much time on my hands and need a job. So, I'm off back to the grind.

Peace and Love,

John.

Reasons Life Is Worth Living

The sound of my family laughing. "Pyramid Song" by Radiohead. Tea and Toast on a Sunday night. Billy Connolly. Robert DeNiro. Sleeping in. Early, early morning. Fog. Sunsets in California. The Ocean. Overcoming nerves. The smell of cigarettes in the summer. White Hart Lane in full roar. Pacific Coast Highway. Macaroni and cheese from Wood Ranch. Hunter S. Thompson. Kevin Spacey in American Beauty. Surprising yourself. My sofa. Guitar Solos. Candlelight. Hendrix. Hicks. Homer. Christmas Day at home. Adam Baker drunk. Star Wars. Kevin Smith. Unspoken moments with strangers. Bon Iver. Mum's toad in the hole. An empty page and a pen. Dali. Long walks in comfortable shoes. Getting lost. "The Shining" by Badly Drawn Boy. Kostas. The drive to Vegas. My friends' successes. Finishing a day's work. The Godfather. In N Out. Woody Allen. Freestyle rapping. Natalie Portman's face. Glastonbury. Headphones. Skipped heartbeats. Ricky Gervais' laugh. Rome. Filet Mignon. Live Music. Guinness. Wile E. Coyote. Facing fears. Hot Showers. Symmetry. The smell of popcorn. Alan Partridge. Santa Barbara. New York from the Hudson River. Benson's Coronation Chicken Baguettes. Awkwardness. Flaming Sambuca. A clean pair of pants and socks.

The Good Old Days

So today I finished reading "A Moveable Feast" by Ernest Hemmingway. It is a memoir, published posthumously, of Hemmingway's days as part of of an expatriate group of writers in Paris in the 1920's.

Several emotions stirred within me while reading this book. The first being a deep desire to go to Paris, not the Paris of today but the Paris he describes; one of horse racing, cafes, trips to the countryside, picnics in the park, wine on the streets (figuratively of course) etc. Reading the book also brought me strong recollections of European life. Although I have never been to Paris, the most potent memory it conjured up was when I traveled the continent and we made it to Rome on a Sunday night in March of 2004. After finding a room and offloading our belongings, me and my good friend Mr. Alex Baker, made our way out at around 10pm looking to eat and not expecting to find much. However, to my pleasant surprise, the streets were filled with people, entire families even, just walking, talking, drinking, eating and laughing. The streets were filled with noise and music. I've never known anything like it before or since.

The overriding thought it left me with though, and this is a thought which has been at the forefront of my mind in recent times, is the sense of nobility, civility and dignity which seemed to run through society back in the day, especially in men. The idea of being a gentleman, providing for one's family and living life with a simplicity and charm seems to be sorely lacking from the world today. Personally I think our Grandparents' generation is one to be admired and one which we too easily ignore. Us kids nowadays seem to be raised like bloody wolves in the wild...get what is yours and to hell with everyone else. Grab and Push. Grab and Push.

Everything moves a lot quicker nowadays, we simply don't have time to help one another, it seems. I'm not blaming anyone, and I'm certainly not putting myself above it all. I'm just saying, that old school type of thinking, one which I admire, is becoming an ancient myth. Which is a shame. With the constant threat of annihilation (brought by two world wars - and one world cup, boom boom), people learned to be more grateful for life itself rather than material possessions they had.

I'm probably romanticising the whole thing more than I should. I'm sure they had the same sh*t we have got today, just differently packaged. I don't know, maybe instead of gang violence and happy slapping, they had bootlegging and fisticuffs! I'd like to think though that somehow they didn't. And that's a thought that keeps me smiling.

"They say the seeds of what we will do are in all of us, but it always seemed to me that in those who make jokes in life the seeds are covered with better soil and with a higher grade of manure."

— Ernest Hemingway (A Moveable Feast)

Tunes Currently Floating My Boat...

1) Teddy Picker - Arctic Monkeys
2) I Can't Quit You Baby - Led Zeppelin
3) Kissing The Lipless - The Shins
4) She Came In Through The Bathroom Window - The Beatles
5) Buggin' Out - A Tribe Called Quest
6) Cousins - Vampire Weekend
7) Daydream In Blue - I Monster
8) Barely Legal - The Strokes
9) Lonesome Town - Ricky Nelson
10) Sexy Sadie - The Beatles
11) This Is A Low - Blur

The Heat Is On

The ceiling fan above me tries desperately to cool my new living space, however as I sit it is failing and I am suffering from a severe case of swamp-arse. 85 degrees? In March? It's just not right.

So it has been another busy week. Yesterday I landed a job with a non-profit organisation, which means that as of Monday I will be one of those annoying people trying to stop you (yes, you!) on the street and seductively coerce you into handing your hard earned cash over to some poor brown people somewhere else in the world. It is actually an ideal I do strongly believe in, the hours are good and I'll get a nice t-shirt tan so I can't complain. I am also interested to see what tirade of abuse I can get out of people (and I will be trying).

Also, I got cast in a play as...wait for it...Winnie The Pooh! Not the Pooh as you know and love, but an x-rated version of the beloved bear. It's actually quite funny and all good experience for the future. I also shot a student film this week which went well, this being despite the fact that I thought I was playing one character only to turn up and find out I was playing someone else entirely - cue lot's of furrowed brows, sweating and trying to remember my bloody lines. I auditioned for a TV advert which would have been a hefty paycheck, but I got there and the first thing I read on the sides were "In comes a man, late 30's to early 40's". Being that on a good day I look like a well-heeled 17 year-old, I reasoned this one might not go my way. Still, a certain freedom comes from not thinking you're going to get something and it ended up going really well. After chatting to the director and the casting director for a bit, we decided that I should do it in a "John Cleese Style", which I happily did. And I didn't mention the war!

See, while these all may be little victories, if even victories at all, if you keep putting yourself out there, things might happen. My point is there are hundreds of reasons not to do something but, in the words of a famous corporate, third-world pillager of epic proportions....just do it. Know what I mean?

Anyway, for anyone who didn't see it, last night's South Park was superb. Hopefully a sign of a solid new series to come.



And one more thing, if anyone knows of any good new music for me to listen to, I'd appreciate any recommendations.

Ta.

John.

Quote of the Day

"A relationship is like a shark, it has to constantly move forward or it dies...and I think what we've got on our hands is a dead shark"

(Woody Allen as Alvy Singer in the sublime "Annie Hall")

Heroes to Humanity: #72 - Kelly Brook

In a regular feature of this blog, I will be randomly picking people whose contributions to society are deserving of mine, yours and everyone's acknowledgement and appreciation. This week, we honour the lovely Kelly Brook.

Granted she's not the brightest light on the Christmas Tree, and her choice of men leaves something to be desired (largely because none of them are me) but...well...look at the Norks on it!!!

How many hours of my life I have wasted just staring at this perfect specimen, I dread to think. I even tolerated waking up at six in the morning just to see every minute of her ill-fated stint on The Big Breakfast (on mute, obviously).

My hope in writing this is that she reads it and realises that I would obviously be a much better shag than some young, good looking Rugby Player (for about 2-3 minutes anyway).

Here's hoping.

Settle This!

I have had a revelatory day my friends. You see, it started yesterday when I began my new temp job as a "Data Entry Coordinator". Now, I know any job I take at the moment is not going to exactly be glamorous, but this one was took the cake. My one task, if I can write this without falling asleep, was to enter names from a spreadsheet into a database. Click. Tap. Type. Tab. Type. Save. Copy. Upload. Tab. Type. Save. Repeat...250 times a day.

Now again, while I appreciate that there is alot worse ways to make a living, I made myself a promise and that promise was never to work in an office environment again for as long as I live. Foolish? Perhaps. Unrealistic? Maybe. Self-Righteous? Absolutely. I have absolutely nothing against people making a living in an office or indeed people who enjoy that type of dynamic. It's just not for me.

And, you see, the reason today has been such a revelation is because I realised that throughout my entire life I have always seemed to settle on the easy option. It's been this way since as far back as I can remember. All my school reports used to read "Could do better" or "Does just enough to get by" or "Lazy little prick". This trend has continued into every facet of my adult life but the area where it has most affected me has been my career, or lack thereof. As I sit and think of all the hours I have spent in jobs which I have loathed to my very core I think "what the f**k was I THINKING???" I want to go back in time and punch myself. Never, not once, I have been in a job where I coveted it in the slightest, thus creating a situation where seeing as I didn't want it in the first place, why bother putting any effort into it?

Well no more my friends. I said to myself fuck that! Mediocrity and Banality (© Bill Hicks) are no longer on the menu. This is the time for finally growing a sack and getting what I want out of life, not just eeking through it as usual. So with that in mind, I quit. Thus putting me back at square one, which is absolutely fine by me. If it doesn't work out, I'll just get addicted to heroin or become a rent boy, or both. The opportunities are endless.

All it takes is a great deal of hard work and a little slice of fortune. At least that's what TV and Films have led me to believe. So here's to throwing caution to the wind and getting in the fast lane to poverty. See, this is why listening to Rage Against The Machine at work is not a good idea.

On a completely different note, today is the anniversary of the untimely death of of Christopher Wallace (aka Biggie Smalls). His shooting happened right around the corner from my house coincidentally. Anyway, at 24 he achieved alot more than I could fathom and any man who can dream up the line "N*gga's is mad, I get more butts than ash trays" is alright by me.

Biggie Ripping Bloke On Street

Peace, love and a big fat middle finger to the man.

John.

The Oscars

For the first time in years I was unable to watch The Academy Awards. This would be due to the fact that I am currently too poor to afford Cable TV. However I just looked up the results. It always seems that the film/star I want to win, never does (save No Country For Old Men). I admit The Hurt Locker was a good flick, but Avatar was absolutely incredible. I'm starting to wonder whether these people know what they're talking about. After all, they did snub Star Wars. I also wanted Cary Mulligan to win but that's probably just because I fancy her.

So, in honour of tonight, I have decided to compile a list of the best films to be nominated for, but not win, Best Picture:

1 - Jaws (1975)
2 - Star Wars (1977)
3 - Apocalypse Now (1979)
4 - Raging Bull (1980)
5 - Goodfellas (1990)
6 - The Shawshank Redemption (1994)
7 - Pulp Fiction (1994)
8 - Fargo (1996)
9 - Good Will Hunting (1997)
10 - Lord of the Rings (2001)

After writing this list. It's clear that the Academy are idiots.

Goodnight.

Thundersticks

So after much deliberation last night, I decided against auditioning for "Last Comic Standing". The more I thought about it, and the more I watched clips of it, the more I realised how much I despise this new Talent Show garbage which unfortunately passes as 'entertainment' nowadays. That particular competition is basically American Idol for comedians and I f*@king HATE American Idol!

I was helped in my decision by watching this fascinating interview with two of my favourite people in life, Larry David and Ricky Gervais (ignoring "The Invention of Lying"). There's a really interesting bit where they talk about getting "the right kind of laugh". I could not have agreed more and, thankfully, that sealed the deal. I'd rather make it on my own terms or not at all, thank you very much.

Ricky Gervais Meets Larry David

So instead I have spent my morning writing and reading "Dreams Into Action" which as a self-help guide, is a wonderful read.

And now, as I write this, thunder and lightning are making quite a racket outside my window...luckily I happened to stumble upon a series of videos from LaBlogotheque which capture the mood perfectly. They feature several intimate performances from Bon Iver in Paris. This one was my favourite. What I wouldn't give to be in that apartment:



Have a good one.

JB

Good For The Wallet, Good For The Soul?

Why does it always seem to be a choice of one or the other? Good for the wallet - get a steady job, pay your bills, don't cause a fuss, fall in line. Good for the soul - adventure, travel, creation...anything that costs f**cking money! Of course these options are not mutually exclusive for everyone but then that's the goal isn't it? To do something which fulfills, nourishes AND pays you. That's the goal that gets me out of bed every day at least.

Indeed this goal has spurred me on to having a very productive week. I managed to land a temp job at some firm downtown, which should tide me over for the next month, that starts Monday. The interview was most humiliating, as they made me give an example of my "Telephone Voice". After resisting the urge to shout "But you're already talking to me on the phone, you stupid b**tch!", I gave her my most Regal rendition and the job was mine.

Today I had an audition for a film I really want to be in. It's not the next Godfather or anything but the crew were really nice and the material was astoundingly good. I fear I may have blown it though when they asked me to recite a story. I promptly replied with a lovely little anecdote about drug-fueled mayhem in Amsterdam and a little night at a place called "The Banana Bar". I'll leave the rest to your imagination (for anyone reading this who was there...you know the story) Almost as soon as it came out of my mouth, I felt the instant urge to retract it from the record, and said aloud "I can't believe I just told you that". Ahhh, my big mouth. What awkward situation will you get me into next? Still, it all went well and I'll be keeping my fingers crossed that I hear from them next weekend.

That's the weird thing about auditions really, you're trained to go in, do your best and forget about them, much like going to the toilet, but when you really want something there's always a long, desperate waiting period...like a dog sitting by the door for walkies that may never come.

Tomorrow however should provide a more instant response as I am audtioning for NBC's "Last Comic Standing". This being despite my deep hatred for reality panel shows (several people have convinced me to just give it a go, so I am), so we'll see how that goes.

All in all another....interesting working week in this mad town.

Peace,

JB.

Reminders Of When Rap Wasn't Shit

* Holler If Ya Hear Me - 2Pac
* Follow The Leader - Eric B. & Rakim
* Electric Relaxation - A Tribe Called Quest
* Protect Ya Neck - Wu-Tang Clan
* Gin 'n Juice - Snoop (Doggy) Dogg
* Universal Magnetic - Mos Def
* The World Is Yours - Nas
* Juicy - The Notorious B.I.G.
* The 6th Sense - Common
* 22 Twos - Jay Z

Heroes to Humanity: #147 - James Buckley

In a regular feature of this blog, I will be randomly picking people whose contributions to society are deserving of mine, yours and everyone's acknowledgement and appreciation.

This week, we honour one James Buckley, best known of course for playing Jay in the Inbetweeners.

I can't even begin to tell you how many incarnations of this character I have met over the years and he plays it to a tee. A very talented actor. Well done sir...Essex is proud of you!

Inbetweeners - Jay "The Ladies Man"