Truth Be Told (HD)

Finally I have managed to get my first film online and in all of it's High Definition (ish) glory. For only spending 500 dollars on it, it turned out quite well I think. Enjoy.

JB.

The Worst Rap Lyrics Ever

"And you don't stop, sure shot, and you get in your car and you drive real far, and you drive all night, and then you see a light, and it comes right down, and lands on the ground, and out comes a man from Mars, and you try to run but he's got a gun, and he shoots you dead and he eats your head, and then you're in the man from Mars, you go out at night, eatin' cars.

You eat Cadillacs, Lincolns too, Mercuries and Subarus, and you don't stop, you keep on eatin' cars. Then, when there's no more cars, you go out at night and eat up bars"

From "Rapture" by Blondie (1981)

Profound, I think we can all agree.

JB.

Liming In Grenada

Greetings all and to all a pleasurable day.

Sorry I haven't been updating this "masterpiece blog" (direct quote from Time magazine) but I have been sunning myself stupid on the beautiful island of Grenada for the past week. To say I had a good time would be the grossest understatement since 'George Bush doesn't care about black people'.

It was magical. Not three days ago I was floating in the caribbean ocean, surrounded by a colorful school of fish...I don't think I've ever been so relaxed in my entire life. However all that is over now and it's back to the grind here in Los Angeles. Life already seems determined to bring me back to earth with a bang, cheeky little obstacle-putting-up rascal that it is. Potential disasters lie not too far on the horizon regarding my latest short film, however if and when that happens I will update you further. Fingers crossed there will be no need for such an update.

In the meantime, let's all sit back, relax, and enjoy a wonderful bit of reggae from the man himself, Bob Marley.

Big up Jah.

JB.

Dialogue of the Day

Dante: "I'm stuck in this pit, working for less than slave wages. Working on my day off, the goddamn steel shutters are closed, I deal with every backward-ass fuck on the planet. I smell like shoe polish. My ex-girlfriend is catatonic after fucking a dead guy, and my present girlfriend has sucked thirty-six dicks"

Randal: "....thirty seven"

From "Clerks" (dir. Kevin Smith - 1994)

Songs for a Sunny Sunday

A Town Called Malice - The Jam

Eye Know - De La Soul

Sloop John B - The Beach Boys

Black Treacle - Arctic Monkeys

When The Levee Breaks - Led Zeppelin

Ragged Wood - Fleet Foxes

How I Got Over - The Roots

Hey - Red Hot Chilli Peppers

Red House - Jimi Hendrix

Pain Killer - Turin Brakes

Making Films (and Ting)

What a lovely month it has been in my little world.

Not any of my films (above)

Firstly, my first film is now completed and up on imdb.com (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2184325/). It is also currently under consideration at several festivals so watch this space for further, hopefully good, news. As for the film itself, I could not be happier with the outcome, considering what I then knew about film-making (as in, absolutely nothing) and the budget we were working with (absolutely sod-all). With these things in mind, I consider the project a complete success.

Equally groin-stiffening is the progress of my latest film. After sitting through our first real editing session today, I am feeling incomprehensibly excited about it. Words can't seem to quite describe how it feels to see your film come together in a way that you hoped it would. In fact, so far everything has come out better than I imagined. Marvelous.

It's a weird thing actually, the process of making a film. Despite all of your meticulous planning, it is often a stab in the dark, a hope and a prayer that things turn out the way you wanted. I believe I have yet to hear it better described than by the legendary Sidney Lumet:

"Someone once asked me what making a movie was like. I said it was like making a mosaic. Each setup is like a tiny tile (a setup, the basic component of a film's production, consists of one camera position and its associated lighting). You color it, shape it, polish it as best you can. You'll do six or seven hundred of these, maybe a thousand. (There can easily be that many setups in a movie.) Then you literally paste them together and hope it's what you set out to do."

Couldn't agree more there Sidders. Fingers crossed that this one is, and there will plenty more to come.

Peace and love,

Juan.

Quote of the Day

"Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius - and a lot of courage - to move in the opposite direction."

--Albert Einstein

Ticketmaster: Enemy of the Free World

Ticketmaster. You know them. They're the ones you have to go through to buy any sort of ticket for any sort of live music event in the western world. You've sat there and watched helplessly as your 25 dollar (or equivalent) ticket gains charges, and surcharges, and taxes with each click of your mouse. You've all turned pale as you finally reach the checkout page to find that your backrow seat is now a cool 40 dollars, which, for you and your girlfriend (as it would be most ungentlemanly to let her pay) is 80 fecking dollars. To see a band with the number "1" in their 'albums released' column.

Now, my problem is not that. Well, I mean it is that but I have a much larger problem to be discussed. You see, all of that headache mentioned above only occurs in one's life if you are lucky enough to actually get a ticket. Which is virtually impossible for any big show. For example, Radiohead tickets (@ Santa Barbara Bowl) went on sale Saturday at 10am. As an avid follower (see: fanatic) there I was, sat in front of my laptop, page ready and open, waiting for the clock to strike 10. When it did, I was swiftly kicked off the page. In a confused panic, I scrambled to get back. I did. I selected two tickets under "best available". It began to load. I waited with baited breath. At 10:03am a page appeared telling me that the concert was SOLD OUT.

Now, I'm no scientist, or mathematics expert, or claim to be remotely any good at anything to do with numbers, but as a rational, logical, human being I find it slightly far-fetched to believe that the following scenario occurred:

Step 1) Thousands of Radiohead fans all converged on Ticketmaster.com.

Step 2) The system - being one that is fair and true and represents the very best in western democracy - neatly and tidily put all of these thousands of seat in order of who clickidy wick'd on their lovely little website first and all of the seats were allocated accordingly.

Step 3) The exact amount of seats in Santa Barbara Bowl equated to the number of tickets sold, all were sold to genuine Radiohead lovers and everyone skipped off to work whistling "The Gloaming".

Step 4) All of this happened in three minutes.

No, that's bollocks isn't it. What instead happened was that a limited amount of seats were available to some fans, who are selected by a blind man throwing darts at a wall-chart (or something similar), and the rest go to the web-sites like StubHub - where you too can purchase tickets to see your favourite bands for 5x the original face-value price.

After being rejected at 10:03am, I investigated further. At 10:04am, StubHub suddenly had back row seats going for 600 dollars a pop. Lovely, I'll take ten please. Just let me re-mortgage my house, sell my children to slave labour markets and start cooking meth amphtemine to pay my credit card bill (big up, Breaking Bad - a work of genius). Now, StubHub is owned by who? I hear you ask. That's right, f**king Ticketmaster.

Stop me if I'm wrong here, but isn't that the very definition of monopoly trading? Well no, they say, because there are sites like LiveNation and blah blah blah. Yeah that is true, but where do these other sites direct you when you want to buy a ticket? To f**king Ticketmaster. You see folks, thats how a racket works. All roads lead to one thing and that one thing will shove it's hand in your pockets whether you like it or not.

Thom Yorke - Mentalist

I don't ask for much. I just want to see some music before my eyes and ears. Maybe get some of Thom's dribble on me during a freak out. I don't mind losing out on tickets to other fans. First come, first served. They were there before me, they should get the tickets. At least it would be a fair fight. What I can't accept however is these cyber-school bullies performing what can only be described as legal extortion. The sad thing is that, under the current regime, I know that in my lifetime (unless I become unhealthily rich and/or famous) I will never, if I live to be 1020 years old, sit in the front row of a Radiohead concert. Never. It is simply impossible. Who does get these tickets I will never know. I can only assume that it's people far more important than myself. Instead I have to settle for not even being in the back row of this one.

Ticketmaster, fuck you.

John.

A Cinematic Masterclass

From Paul Thomas Anderson. Watch and learn.

JB.

My First Film Poster

It's been a very busy week. I will update this blog accordingly as soon as I get a chance. However, in the meantime, check out my first film poster. It makes me all tingly in the groin.

Peace,

JB.