Thoughts...

So, I managed to make my way to the cinema twice this week. First to see "Horrible Bosses", for which I had high hopes. To say I was disappointed is a massive understatement. It's the latest in a series of shouty shouty, loud loud, 'wacky' comedies that seem to be the order of the day in mainstream Hollywood. Note to all studios: saying things extremely loud does not make them funny. Absurd plot, annoying main characters (especially Charlie Day, who is the most obnoxious human I've seen on screen since Little Nicky) and a complete waste of some pretty solid acting talent. What on earth Kevin Spacey was doing in this shite I do not know. Same for Colin Farrell, who was basically reduced to a cartoon character, and Jennifer Aniston's part consisted of one joke...yep, just the one, throughout the entire 2 hours...wherein, the "good girl next door" (Aniston) says things like "f**k my slutty mouth"...oh the hilarity!

What annoys me most is that it will be a box office smash, despite it's complete lack of originality, wit, subtlety or indeed comedy, and we the people will be subjected to yet more of the same. Very upsetting.

At the other end of the artistic spectrum was "The Tree of Life" starring Sean Penn, Brad Pitt and directed by the revered Terrance Malick. I went in not really knowing what to expect and within the first hour, I felt my brain slowly pouring out of my ear. Absolute insanity. Basically, not to give too much away, the films starts with Sean Penn remembering his childhood, then we go into the creation of the universe, the birth of morality (by use of a scene involving Dinosaurs...no, that's not a misprint) and back through the memories of Mr. Penn. This lasts for 2 hours and 40 minutes. Now, I consider myself a fairly cine-literate person, and I am struggling to find the words to describe this film. Yes, the visuals were rather lovely at times (if very 2001: A Space Oddyssey) and yes, there were moments of genuine emotion which got me going a bit, but overall I think my feeble mind was unable to comprehend what was going on before me. It gets a bit too deep, is what I'm saying. A narrative would have been nice too.

I think I'd have enjoyed it more if it didn't have the most pretentious voiceovers in history, people whispering profound things like "life is organic" and "um bongo, um bongo, they drink it in the congo". Leaves a bit of a bitter taste in my cynical mouth. However, it's nice to see someone at least trying to push the envelope and taking on life's grander subjects. Maybe I need to see it again to fully appreciate it, or maybe I'm just an idiot. Who knows?

In other news, Carmeggedon turned out to be a load of bollocks.

Listening to the news all week, you'd think LA would be at a complete standstill, people jumping from their stationary vehicles and leaping off bridges left, right and center. I spent all day driving on the old freeways yesterday...clear as a bell. Better than normal in fact. Oh, the media, what will you come up with next, you little phone-tapping, amoral rascals.

So, there you have it, another pointless ramble from a man with too much coffee in the system.

Peace,

JB.

Absurd Rap Lyrics #4507

"Seven execution style murders. I have no remorse 'cause I'm the fuckin' murderer"

From the song "High Powered" on Dr. Dre's 'The Chronic'.

Just brilliant.

Sabotage!!!

Have it:

Russell Brand: Love or Hate?

This is my pointless exercise for the day. The jury's out, what's the verdict? More importantly, who gives a sh*t?:

Reasons to Hate:

* Shagged Kate Moss (Mind you, who hasn't these days? I know I have...a lot.)

* Get Him To The Greek

* Married to Katy Perry

* Hop

* Not half as delightful as he thinks he is

* Rather obnoxious at times (see: Craig Ferguson appearance)

* Sachsgate (although I did laugh at the time, but I am not a good moral yardstick)

* The above picture

* Gets to Sleep with Katy Perry

* After posturing as a risque, counter-cultural icon for his early career, now just participates in Hollywood tripe (see: Hop, Arthur, GHTTG etc.)

* Has probably seen Katy Perry's Boobs

* Supports West Ham

* Gets more birds than me

Reasons to Love:

* Can be side-splittingly funny (as proven by his show at Hollywood Forever)

* Essex Boy

* Sarah Marshall

* Radio 2 show was genius

* Met him once and he was genuinely one of the nicest blokes I've met

Fine, I'll keep liking him for now. But you're on thin fackin' ice, my pedigree chum.

JB.

Up Down

What a week. First off the country I currently reside in celebrated it's imperial rule over the weekend. Yay. As I sat watching fireworks light up LA I couldn't help but picture the skies over Baghdad being similarly illuminated but for entirely different reasons. Mmmm.

Anywho...so after spending hours upon hours in pre-production for my second short film, securing locations, hiring crew members, casting actors etc., turns out I had to pull the plug on the entire thing at the very (and I do mean very) last minute, for reasons I'd rather not get into here. Not many feelings are as crushingly disappointing, however thankfully no money was spent so no harm done...to the wallet at least.

Still, the decidedly down-turn that experience offered was soon balanced out by the progress of my first feature film. I spent all week (at the behest of my producer) re-writing the script until I eventually think I have finally cracked it. The nature of writing for several hours a day though can send a man insane so in truth I've got nay fooking clue whether I've cracked it or not. It remains to be seen. Also, (warning extreme "LA speak" coming up) I had a meeting with another, pretty well established producer who literally taught me more useful information in an hour than I've received in probably the last five years. I think I realise exactly what is needed to get this bad boy off the ground now so onwards and upwards on that front.

I'm also, and the this is really sad how good this makes me feel, on a bit of a hot streak with ordering films off Netflix. One brilliant film after another. The streak can't last surely, but here is a list of films I've recently watched and were, for want of a better phrase, the tits:

* Glengarry Glen Ross - superb writing, even better acting. I didn't realise how good Jack Lemmon was. Also, Pacino calling Kevin Spacey a "Stupid fucking cunt" was rather genius.

* Being There - A brilliant piece of satire featuring the legend that is Peter Sellers. You can now also see where Forrest Gump came from.

* The Assassination of Jesse James... - Quality moody western film. How Casey Affleck didn't win an Oscar for this is beyond me.

* The Long Good Friday - Classic British Gangster flick. Great film, brilliantly directed and gives you the chance to see many now famous actors when they were young upstarts. Cue lots of "Oi! I know him" moments.

* Dog Day Afternoon - See this film immediately. Pacino is amazing. Hilarious stuff.

* Bruno - why didn't anyone tell me how funny this film was? "Bruno was Schwartz-listed" is one of the best lines ever.

I've just realised that no pictures accompany this post. So here is one of my girlfriend (Marion Cotillard) illustrating the size of my knob:

Peace and love,

John.

Great British Comedy: Extras

Absolutely classic:

JB.

Quote of the Day

"In the struggle between the stone and the water, in time, the water wins."

-Chinese Proverb.

Glastonbury 2011

Even as I write this, the greatest festival in the world is taking place in a massive muddy field in the west country of Somerset. I thought I had it bad last year, but this year my glastonbury depression has reached new levels. Radiohead playing another secret show at the Park Stage, Mumford & Sons playing one in a tent (after rocking the living shite out of The Other Stage), Pulp playing a surprise gig...the list of things I've read about with extreme envy just grows larger and larger. I could even appreciate that U2 would have been good to see, despite Bono being an absolute prize bellend.

However, I stupidly watched Coldplay's headlining set last night and, simply put, it was one of the best performances I've ever seen...and I wasn't even there. Knowing the atmosphere around that Pyramid Stage, I can guarantee however that everyone who was there had one of those moments you'll never forget:

And there's still a day left...faaaaaaaack.

New Radiohead

Oh yes...

JB.

Actor Files: Paul Giamatti

Mr. Paul Edward Valentine Giamatti (no, I'm not making that up) has fast carved out quite a career for himself. This being despite not looking remotely like your typical "Hollywood Leading Man", in fact, quite the opposite. However, this just makes his rise to the top all the sweeter - the fact that a man who could quite easily pass as a child molester carries films on his back with consummate ease - and it's all because he is such a great actor.

"Growing up I didn't know where I was headed, except to the grave or maybe to the gutter. I went through wanting to do a lot of things, but acting wasn't one of them. I didn't really know what I was going to do until after my father died. Going into acting was as much a surprise to me as to anyone else, and I was even more surprised to find that I could make a living doing it"

His career started playing memorable supporting roles in films such as "Private Parts", "Donnie Brasco" (when I first became aware of him) and "Saving Private Ryan". His first major role came with a little known film called "American Splendor" which is based on the comic book of the same name - about a man who does pretty much nothing. His performance is nothing short of brilliant, despite the shortcomings of the film itself, and I thought to myself for the first time "I want to be that man".

Proving he could play the lead role, then came his breakout role in 2004's "Sideways". Easily one of my favourite films of all time and a performance that inspired me in more ways than you could imagine. Just seeing a real bloke going through life's shit-house up on screen was an absolute treat and it continues to inspire just about everything I do today, for whatever that's worth.

"It'd be disingenuous to say I don't like attention - I'm an actor for God's sake - and it's flattering and all, but attention was never my big goal. I just like to work and have a good time. This whole business feels kind of intense, like a bad fit. Round peg, square hole. But whatever, I'll take it."

After Sideways, the offers came rolling in. "Cinderella Man", "The Illusionist" etc. However, now Giamatti is one of the few actors ever to carve out a genre all to himself. In the past few years every film he's starred in seems to be the story of the hapless everyman who we want to root for, despite largely being a complete degenerate. "Cold Souls", "Barney's Version", the recent "Win Win" - he's got the market cornered - and I, for one, now make it a point to see everything he comes out with. The man is brilliant. Nuff said.

Long may his streak of excellence continue.

Big up!